Sunday, July 27, 2008

AND THEN THE FIGHT STARTED...


When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her
someplace expensive.... so, I took her to a gas station.....

and then the fight started....


************************************************************************
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my
driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I
had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go
home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said,
'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she
processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at
the Social Security office

She said, 'You shou ld have dropped your pants. You might have
gotten disability, too'

And then the fight started.....


***********************************************************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,
and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone
at a nearby table.

My wife asked,'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old
girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up
those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started.....


***********************************************************************
I rear-ended a car this morning.

So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver
got out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little
things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,

'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are
you?'

And then the fight started.....

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Wednesday, July 2, 2008